1. ***Clint Eastwood - Sudden Impact***
(Clint Eastwood is in the elevator with a man a judge just released that Eastwood brought in.)
"Listen punk, you're nothin' but dogshit...and a lot of things can happen to dogshit. It can be scooped up by a shovel, it can dry up and blow away in the wind, or it can can be stepped on and squashed. So you better watch yourself dogshit!"
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2. ***Clint Eastwood - Sudden Impact***
(Eastwood goes back to the coffee shop which is being held up)
Gunman - "What you lookin' at pig headed sucka?"
Eastwood- "For 10 years I've been coming in here to get a large black coffee, only today my coffee had sugar in it.....a lot of sugar. I just came back to complain! Now you boys put those guns down!"
Gunman - "Say what?"
Eastwood - "We're not just going to let you walk outta here!"
Gunman - "Who's we sucka?"
Eastwood - (as he removes his gun)"Smith, and Wessen, and me!"
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3. ***Steve Martin - Planes, Trains, and Automobiles***
(Steve Martin finally gets back to the car rental desk)
lady - "Welcome to Marathon, may I help you?"
S.M. - "Yes!"
lady - "How may I help you?"
S.M. - "You can start by wiping that fucking dumb ass smile off your rosey fucking face. Then you can give me a fucking automobile....a fucking Datsun, a fucking Mazda, a fucking Mustang, a fucking Buick.....four fucking wheels and a seat!"
lady - "I really don't care for the way you're speaking to me."
S.M. - "And I really don't care for the way you're company left me with keys to a fucking car, that wasn't fucking there. I really didn't care to have to have to walk across a fucking runway, across a fucking highway, and come here to look at your rosey fucking cheeks. I want a fucking car, right fucking now."
lady - "Do you have your rental agreement?"
S.M. - "I threw it away."
lady - "Oh Boy."
S.M. - "Oh boy what?"
lady - "You're fucked."
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4. ***Steven Seagal - Hard to Kill***
(With a gun in his hand, Seagal walks into the pool table room of the men who want him dead )
Seagal - "How's the action boys? Mind if I play? Oh, I know what you're thinking....that if I have this in my hand, I can't play. So I'll just put it away.
Well, someone hand me a cue!"
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5. ***Casino***
(The mob bosses are sitting around a table in the back of a Kansas City grocery store discussing the issues)
boss 1 - "I don't get it. We're stealing from them, and then they're stealing from us."
boss 2 - "It's considered leakage...."
boss 1 - "Leakage, my balls!!!"
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6. ***Clint Eastwood - Dirty Harry***
Clint Eastwood walks over to the man who just held up a bank while he's laying injured on the ground. An automatic gun sits two feet from his reach.
Eastwood- "I know what you're thinking. Did he fire five shots or six? Well, to tell you the truth, in all this commotion I've lost track myself. So you got to ask yourself one question. Do you feel lucky? Well, do you punk?"
(He had no bullets left)
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7. ***54***
The cops bring in one of the guys they suspect is running illegal activities in the New York club for questioning. They sit him at their desk and they threaten him.
Cops - "We got you now! So you better tell us everything, or you're going down!"
Mobster - (in an Italian accent) "You got nothin'. You know why? My house....NOT IN MY NAME. My car....NOT IN MY NAME. My bank account...AIN'T GOT ONE. You know what you got...OOOGATS (which means DICK in Italian).
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